It’s been almost two years exactly (tomorrow) since I was born again in Jesus at Wes Watkins Reservoir. The Lord’s been directing my steps very strategically (isn’t he always?) in the last few weeks. My time with the Lord has been truly sweet recently. And today He lifted the veil just a little bit more, in a big way.
I can remember that I used to attempt to get closer to the Lord by reading His word, but I was doing it wrong. It was always passive, not active. I would read a verse and never truly know what He was trying to say to me. It’s all too easy to read something in the Bible and take it completely out of context. Even though I know better, I still do it sometimes. I’m lucky that so many people have laid down their lives for the Lord so that I could learn how to truly read His word.
Today I was in Hebrews. I started in chapter 12, verses 1 + 2:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Two years ago, I would’ve clung to the most popular part of the verse right in the middle about running and endurance. Today, therefore bit me. When you see the word “therefore,” you should ask yourself “what’s it there for?” If you want to know why, you’ll have to ask me directly and I’d be happy to tell you. But that’s not the point of this post today. The point is this, if I had skipped over that single word, I wouldn’t have been taken on a tour of the verses that moved my heart two years ago. The most significant being Ephesians 2:8+9:
“For by grace you’ve been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no man may boast.”
I have two pages of notes that brought me to that verse thanks to Hebrews 11. While wrestling my 9-month-old from electrocuting himself with the extension cord, I was brought to tears that I landed in Ephesians. I’ve been silently wrestling with my identity (both again and still) as it’s been tangled up in what I can contribute to my family financially. This has been a real saga for me. The Lord continues to be faithful to us no matter how our circumstances change, but I cling to the idea that I always need to be pursuing more. A sweet friend of mine reminded me that the Lord always fills us back up when we pour ourselves out in His name. This reminded me of Matthew 6:11:
“Give us this day our daily bread.”
Being in a regular rhythm of sitting with the Lord every day in some way, shape or form has been the most transformative experience since getting baptized two years ago. In that effort, I’ve floundered and flourished, sank and swam, but all the same eating His word landed me here today. I can say this single, ordinary Tuesday morning has built a pillar of faith in me that will spur me onward. If you don’t know what it means to eat the word, I’d love to share that experience with you. If there’s a single piece of knowledge that I can point to that’s changed me more than anything else, it’s that that.
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