Fasting

I recently came out the other side of a fast from food. It lasted just over 24 hours and here’s what I’m taking away from it:

From a physical standpoint, fasting sucks. There’s just no way around that, especially when you’re feeding a growing toddler and his father through it. I knew it would be difficult because I’ve fasted in the past, but this experience was profoundly different. While God was always at the forefront of any fast I’ve done in the past, this time I leaned into Him instead of leaning into the suck when it got hard. I was in communication with Him all day because it was such a difficult, but worthy, task.

Outside of this fast I’ve started feeling the Lord’s presence in the mundane, everyday life tasks. It’s been something I’ve yearned for probably my entire life if I’m being completely honest. Within the fast, I know the Lord was right there with me. How hard is a 24-hour fast compared to 40 days? He lived it before me, He knows the inherent human struggle of a fast, of any kind really, but even more than that He’s the ultimate example of God’s faithfulness through our obedience.

It shouldn’t be misconstrued that fasting is a means to gain something we want from God. That goes against the whole point of a relationship with God in the first place. If you’re just here for the physical blessing, then you’re missing out on the best part of the whole deal. We’re in month three of this year and already it’s been significantly different from the previous two years. A flip switched for me in December when Dustin Hunt was preaching out of Mark 4. It was verse 11 + 12 that meant the most to me in that moment. Starting at verse 10 for context:

“And when he [Jesus] was alone, those around him with the twelve asked him about the parables. And he said to them, ‘To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.’” This is also in Isaiah 6:8 which is significant on its own.

It might seem like I’m sauntering down a bunny trail here, but I have a point that relates back to the fast. Promise. It was that time in Mark where God opened my eyes to this: I’m in too much of a hurry that slowing down to know Jesus feels like regression, not progression. That could be the biggest pillar of faith the Lord has built in me so far because it removed the mental block that kept me from sitting with the Lord consistently. I was great at making excuses that I needed to do other things before sitting with the Lord “to get them out of the way” so I could truly focus on Him. It was a lot of BS to be completely frank and properly translate the gravity of those excuses.

It was almost a month later when I made Jesus Lord of my time and my day, and only now am I realizing that’s what happened. Sitting with Jesus first thing in the morning, not after exercising or making breakfast or starting a load of laundry, but very first is my typical routine. It should be noted that I still fail in this sometimes but where that failure was once a stumbling block for me now His grace is sufficient. I could write on that for quite some time.

It was pointed out to me that I might be approaching my time with the Lord legalistically, but when I thought deeper on that I found that it wasn’t true. I used to sit with the Lord because I knew I needed to and I knew that I wanted it to be a desire on my heart, but it was checking a box on my to do list. The act itself doesn’t look or feel all that different from back then because it’s all a matter of the heart. I need Jesus daily and I know this to be true even on my best day. Because on the days I don’t sit with Jesus, I’m a different person. I run through the day wondering riddled with anxiety trying to figure out what I have forgotten to do and feeling like my day isn’t complete. When I leave Jesus out of my day like that, it simply isn’t complete even when the day ends.

And what’s also blowing my mind about this is that the more time I spend with Jesus, the more time I have for everything else. While He isn’t creating more physical time for me, I’m walking through my day alongside him rather than chasing down the world. As someone who never feels like they have enough time (or of anything really thanks to a deeply rooted scarcity complex) in a day to get everything done, this is a true paradigm shift to an infinite exponent. Okay, back to the fast again.

Through the fast I was looking forward to the next day when I would be able to eat again. Who wouldn’t? It powered me through the grocery store honestly. I will add that it might seem like a mistake to grocery shop while fasting, but it was helpful. Anyhow, when I finally arrived on the other side, I was excited to finally eat. And you know what I found there? Disappointment. I was shocked by that revelation. All the food I had made and bought the day before looked so dang good when I wasn’t able to have it. I should’ve known physical food would be disappointing after feeding on the bread of life alone for a day. The word says exactly that in Matthew 4:4 so it was on me for being shocked the next day.

“But he [Jesus] answered, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

This experience with fasting directly relates to the previously mentioned flip that was switched this winter because it drove that lesson home even further. Leaning into the Lord is so much sweeter than anything else on this earth. There were points while fasting that I felt a bit hungry, but it was never, ever to the intensity that I expected it would be. I can remember times when I’ve felt hunger on days that I have ate more so than on the entire day where I didn’t. Sometimes while reading about the Israelites, I can’t help but wonder why they need things repeated so often. That makes me the chief hypocrite in the room. It was God’s grace to the Israelites that He was willing to repeat things so often and it’s the same today for us. If you’ve ever thought the Old Testament wasn’t relevant to you today, then it’s time to take a deeper dive because it seems to run parallel. Time is funny like that; it exists but also doesn’t at the same time.

2 Peter 3:8 “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.”

*Disclaimer: fasting is an activity between you and God, generally you don’t tell people you’re doing it. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it is a personal experience between you and the Lord. The only reason I’m writing about it here is because I have felt lead to do so. If I wasn’t supposed to be sharing this information, then it wouldn’t be pouring out of me like water. It’s as simple as that and the reason why I don’t post on here with any type of regularity.