The timing on this post is absolute perfection. For the first time in over three months, I got to spend some time with my Jaycee girl. I can't remember the last time I rode her, which is odd for me. I've had a horse to ride, and time to do it, on a regular basis for about as long as I can remember. There were many times when I wasn't riding my own horse because I didn't have one at the time, but I had something to swing a leg over at least. When they say kids change everything, it's obviously not an understatement.
I was pleasantly surprised when Jaycee basically did everything I asked her. She rode a lot better than I remembered. And even though she tried to put her head between her knees a couple of times, I can't really blame her for that since 1) she wasn't successful and 2) she was so good the rest of time we rode. We spent close to two hours riding. For awhile I asked her to do some work, but a majority of the time we were just wandering through the cattle pastures of the Irwin homestead in Lahoma. It was glorious. And it helped me realize that I do in fact have some talent for teaching a horse some skills. Although I can't take all the credit for Jaycee, I have put a lot of miles on her back in the last three years.
I grew up loving horses. I was the weird horse girl at school. There's no denying it and I never tried to back then even though it was a good topic for teasing. It's just been part of who I am since I was young. I wish I could remember the first time I met a horse and how I became so horse obsessed. Maybe there never was an actual moment, it was just the way I was born. I like that romanticized version of reality enough to refrain from asking what actually happened.
The summer before starting graduate school, I worked on a ranch in northern Colorado. It was a dude ranch with a twist. They brought in 1,500 head of yearling heifers to graze for the summer before heading out to the feed yards and they had guests help with the process. These guests were promised the true cowboy experience and, more often than not, they got exactly hat. Part of the experience was riding and the other part was moving those heifers around in an intricate rotational grazing system through the Medicine Bow National Forest. It's challenging moving yearling heifers anywhere with an experienced team of riders, but even more so when you're attempting to direct guests first how to ride their horse and second how to move cattle from point A to point B.
That was a really pivotal summer for me from a career aspect. As one of two wranglers on the ranch, we each had a few project horses. Our goal was to get those horses ready for guests to ride. My main project mount was Pappy. Even though had a bit of an attitude at times (who doesn't really), he was a fun horse to work with for a few months. I was also super smart, which proved detrimental for me when I taught him something even just a sliver incorrect. In short, he liked to call me out when I messed up. He made me a better rider and teacher though and that's what makes a good horse. He was a real confidence booster when I was working for someone who enjoyed tearing that down. It was an interesting summer that helped me a dream just a little bit bigger for myself as an aspiring horsewoman.
Although I did, and still do, love to write, I enjoy riding significantly more. There isn't much that I'm naturally talented at in this world, but writing and riding are two things I can claim that I do fairly well. For right now, I love being a freelance writer. I have a lot of freedom to do as much or as little work as I want. And it's not challenging in a way that's defeating. I can take on new writing assignments without wondering if I have the knowledge to actually get them done. It's a comfortable place to be at the moment. But, if I'm being completely honest, it's not really my dream job. Not if I want to be completely fulfilled in my job, which I do and I don't, but that's a completely different topic for a different day.
My dream is to be a horse trainer. Some day. I've had to come to terms with the fact that it's not my time. Yet. Right now, we're living in Enid so Kennedy can take steps to get to his dream job of a being a pilot. We decided to start our family because that's our dream as a couple. And now I get to stay home with Gus and be a freelance writer as time permits. Unfortunately, there are a lot of days where I find myself wishing I could be outside riding all day every day. And I know that's not all it takes to be a horse trainer. There's a lot of pieces to that puzzle that are spent out of the saddle. I get that and I accept the challenge of it.
I don't consider myself a horse trainer currently. Right now, I can train a horse a few things. That's a fact, but I need a lot more miles in the saddle and a lot more knowledge from people a whole lot smarter than me before I can ever call myself a horse trainer. It's all in the works at the moment, it's just not moving on my timeline. I find so much peace in knowing that the Lord's time is so much better than mine. That's a big part of what keeps me going when I see my saddle collecting dust in the garage.
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